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we go down to throw rocks at the river, curses at the parade
beneath the paving stones- the beach!
Created on 2004-10-04 04:15:35 (#4729742), last updated 2009-06-15
76 comments received, 106 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
62 Journal Entries, 2 Tags, 3 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 5 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | cook_the_poor |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 11-04 |
| Location: | brooklyn, United States |
| Website: | http://artascrime.deviantart.com/ |
BioMy dream is to be a pirate on the East River. Although the treasure won’t be as handsome as it would be in lets say off the coast of Africa, I’m sure it would be plentiful. To begin my career as a pirate I would first need a fine, sea worthy vessel through which I would plunder. Seeing as to how fine ships are rare to come by, I would probably be commanding a banana boat or large kiddy floatation device. These limited vessels, while humble, would not stop me from employing a crew to help me steer my ship. Being the caring Captain that I am I would share any treasure we come by equally…this tactic would be in truth to prevent mutiny.
To obtain a fine crew I would post an ad in the Village Voice asking for person’s of reckless abandon and a fiery spirit. Since few such persons look for jobs in the help wanted section…my friends would have to do. Our vessel would be called Fools Gold, and my name would be Captainess Misguided.
We would leave shore under the secrecy of night. Our first objective would be to secure an island off coast where we can hide our treasure. Once we have taken control of the island and suppressed the native rat population, our real job would begin. We would travel up and down the East River, looking for people that were misfortunate victims of the New York City mob family. Once we obtain enough evidence to make a sufficient case, an anonymous letter would arrive at the homes of mob bosses. This letter would ask for a bribe if their hits were to remain secret. But we would not demand money, but rather a year’s supply of coffee ice cream and Arizona green tea. I am fully aware that the mob is not an institution to mess with, but a pirate lives for danger.
Other victims of our reckless adventures would be tourist cruise boats. We would sneak aboard and live like kings and queens, all the while stealing napkin holders and coasters.
If my exploits on the East River proved successful, I would move on to the coast of South America were me and my crew would try to sell trinkets in exchange for drugs, which we would then feed to zoo animals. Our deeds would go down in history as not only courageous but unnecessary. Such infamy comes with the job description.
If, by chance, our search for treasure is not as successful as planned, we would start pirate franchisees. A “do-it-yourself” pirate kit would be included in the purchase price. There would be a one day class that teaches the great wisdom that I have learned, like never stealing from the police and how to never, ever, drink or touch the water in the East River. The profits from these forays into business would finance our pirate uniforms and large parrots.
I see nothing in the foreseeable future that would prevent my pirate dreams from becoming reality.
To obtain a fine crew I would post an ad in the Village Voice asking for person’s of reckless abandon and a fiery spirit. Since few such persons look for jobs in the help wanted section…my friends would have to do. Our vessel would be called Fools Gold, and my name would be Captainess Misguided.
We would leave shore under the secrecy of night. Our first objective would be to secure an island off coast where we can hide our treasure. Once we have taken control of the island and suppressed the native rat population, our real job would begin. We would travel up and down the East River, looking for people that were misfortunate victims of the New York City mob family. Once we obtain enough evidence to make a sufficient case, an anonymous letter would arrive at the homes of mob bosses. This letter would ask for a bribe if their hits were to remain secret. But we would not demand money, but rather a year’s supply of coffee ice cream and Arizona green tea. I am fully aware that the mob is not an institution to mess with, but a pirate lives for danger.
Other victims of our reckless adventures would be tourist cruise boats. We would sneak aboard and live like kings and queens, all the while stealing napkin holders and coasters.
If my exploits on the East River proved successful, I would move on to the coast of South America were me and my crew would try to sell trinkets in exchange for drugs, which we would then feed to zoo animals. Our deeds would go down in history as not only courageous but unnecessary. Such infamy comes with the job description.
If, by chance, our search for treasure is not as successful as planned, we would start pirate franchisees. A “do-it-yourself” pirate kit would be included in the purchase price. There would be a one day class that teaches the great wisdom that I have learned, like never stealing from the police and how to never, ever, drink or touch the water in the East River. The profits from these forays into business would finance our pirate uniforms and large parrots.
I see nothing in the foreseeable future that would prevent my pirate dreams from becoming reality.
ConnectInterests (34):
1984, a//political, activism, amebix, anarchism, anarcho-punk, animal farm, antiproduct, art, brooklyn, chumbawumba, clear skies with stars, crass, decolonization, direct action, diy, emma goldman, erik petersen, eugene lang college, fifteen, fight club, g7 welcoming committee, george orwell, green tea, howard zinn, mischief brew, nausea, noam chomsky, nyc, pirates, public transportation, punk, revolution, tea
External Services:
 | cook_the_poor@livejournal.com | |
 | baaalikeasheep |  |
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